I am the liminal girl
Life is hard sometimes. Maybe it’s actually hard all the time and sometimes are just exceptionally difficult. The state of the world right now is weighing on me, as I am sure it is weighing on most people. I’m trying to not let it get me down. I’m trying to not let it affect the way I treat people. I’m trying to not let it affect the way I allow people to treat me.
Some people say I have a history of struggling with mental illness, but the older I get (just turned 39, thanks), the more I realize that my unique combinations of life experience and genetics just made me incompatible with society. That doesn’t make me mentally ill. The fact that society keeps telling me that there is something wrong with me because I don’t fit the mold or I refuse to sacrifice my integrity for a paycheck is what sends me into a depressive spiral with a healthy helping of anxiety.
But I see it now and seeing is part of knowing. And so it doesn’t affect me as much. The reactions I receive to my personality are expected now. It sucks that it took me 39 years to get here, though. Oh, the things I would have accomplished if the world hadn’t weighed on me with the expectations to conform. What a waste of time.
This society is broken and needs to be rebuilt. It can’t go back the way it was. It can’t go the way that the current US administration wants it to. It has to be new. We need a society that doesn’t try to make everyone a cog in the machine. That’s how you get a clogged machine, destined to break from day one.
I’ve always been the one to shake things up. Intentionally. Unintentionally. I make people see themselves just by existing in their space. How they react to me is how they react to seeing something that eats them inside.
I’m not a cog in the machine. I’m a mirror. I’m a bridge. I’m a ghost. I am the liminal girl.
NEWS
I started writing entertainment journalism for MovieWeb this past week! All of my articles can be read here.
I will be reading LIVE a new short story at Summer Scares at the Kirkland Arts Center this Saturday, August 30! It’s free! Come on by and listen to other Seattle area horror writers read some spooky stuff!
I will be on a podcast about Frankenstein in the coming weeks. Stay tuned for the link!
I will be tabling with the Seattle chapter of the Horror Writers Association at the Pacific Northwest Writer’s Association Conference in addition to speaking on a panel about romance in horror. September 11 - 14!
Come see me with the Gritty City Sirens at Grotesque Burlesque in Tacoma on October 4! Tickets available now!
I’m back in the 48 Hour Film Project game this October 10-13 for the horror version! If you’re local to the Seattle area and what to join a fun team, contact me! There is room for more!
I also return to Morbid Curiositease at 2 Fingers Social on November 14, where I will hopefully be unveiling my newest sideshow act.
See you around!